I can't do it
by TheForceIsStrongWithThisOne
Summary: After ten years away from the team, Beast Boy has a reunion. One shot.


It was a crisp autumn afternoon and the T-Car, with Cyborg behind the wheel, cruised down the tree lined street. It was an older neighborhood and the trees were huge and beautiful, and given the time of year the leaves were changing color and falling. As they continued to cruise down the street they passed a father and his young son, who were throwing an American Football to each other, the father showing his 7 year old how to hold and throw the ball to get a perfect spiral, but the child's hands were too small to grip the ball properly. They laughed as they played on together.

Cyborg kept on driving. Nightwing was in the front passenger seat. Raven, Starfire and Mar'i Grayson, who was nine years old sat in the back seat.

They were in a village in Massachusetts, far from the Tower in Jump City. Cyborg had a new version of the T-Ship, one big enough to carry the car in its cargo hold.

Raven stared out the car's window. Jump didn't really have a Autumn season, at least nothing like this, and Jump was the only place on Earth she ever knew as home. She had of course seen photographs of New England in the Fall, but they paled to what she was seeing outside. A strong breeze suddenly blew, creating eddies that picked up leaves from the street's surface and swirled them in fluid vortexes. She found the sight to be very soothing.

"Are we there yet?" Mar'i asked.

'"Not yet, my child; but we are close." Her mother replied.

"I can't wait to meet uncle Gar! Is it true, Aunt Raven, can he really turn into animals?"

Raven didn't hear the child's question, and she continued to stare out the window.

"Aunt Raven, are you OK?"

Raven jerked, as she snapped back into the present.

"Yes, he can; but they're all green."

"Will he show me?"

"I'm sure he will."

The T-Car slowed and it came to a stop in from of a very pleasant looking house that had a large porch that wrapped around it.

"We're here, ya'll."

The car's doors popped open and the five passengers got out of the car. Raven was holding a bottle of wine she brought for the dinner they were going to share with their former teammate. She stared at house and froze.

 _ **Ten years earlier:**_

"Anyone seen Raven?" The young man known as Changeling asked.

"I believe she is on the roof, meditating. Why do you ask?" A very pregnant Starfire replied.

Gar pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket.

"I'm going for it."

"You're serious, evergreen? You're gonna propose?" Cyborg asked incredulously.

He opened the box, which had a dazzling amethyst solitaire in it. He gulped as he stared at it.

"Now or never." He replied in a hush. "I hope she says yes."

"Of course she will." Cyborg replied, though the tone in his voice betrayed his belief in the statement.

Gar closed the ring box and without dismissing himself he boarded the elevator and was gone. He was soon on the Tower's roof.

Raven was in her favorite spot for meditating. It had an expansive view of the bay and the sun was setting, casting a warm, golden blanket over the city. She was levitating in the lotus position, softly humming her mantra. Her now shoulder length hair fluttered in the breeze coming off the bay.

Beast Boy stepped out of the access door and froze. She looked like a porcelain doll, so perfect and beautiful. He stood there, unable to decide whether to approach her or not. As he deliberated she lowered her shapely gray legs and stood on the floor.

He swallowed hard.

"Hey. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your meditations."

"I was done, but you don't usually come up here when I'm meditating."

"No, I don't." He said with a shy smile on his face.

"So … why the change?"

"I came to ask you something."

"I see." A long paused followed. "Well, what is it?"

"Rave, you know that I love you?"

"Yes, I do. And I love you too. You been my boyfriend and my lover for three years, after all. But that isn't your question, is it?"

"No, it's not." He replied as he opened the ring box.

Raven's eyes widened when she saw the ring. Suddenly, she looked sad.

"I'm sorry, Gar … but my answer is no."

"I haven't asked yet ..."

"I won't marry you, I'm sorry."

"Why not!?" He shrieked.

She bit her lower lip before answering.

"I … I don't think you're the one."

The look on his face haunted her ever since. He looked utterly destroyed.

"But I thought …"

"Don't misunderstand me. You're very special to me … but … I don't see us spending the rest of our lives together … I've been thinking about breaking up with you, I just didn't tell you before because I'm a coward."

He dropped the ring box on the floor, turning away from her so she wouldn't see his tears. She didn't need to see them, she was an empath and could read his emotions as if they were written in a book. She felt tempted to pick up the ring and slip it on her finger, telling him that she had changed her mind. But deep in her heart she knew she couldn't. She did pick up the box and was going to hand it back to him, but when she looked up he was gone. She saw a green eagle flying away and could still feel his anguish.

He never came back to the Tower, and later had a shipping company pick up his possessions. He left no forwarding address.

 _ **Back in the present:**_

"You OK, Raven?" Nightwing asked her as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

Garfield Logan vanished from the face of the Earth for three long years. When he finally surfaced he sent Nightwing an official resignation letter. At first he rejoined the Doom Patrol, and a couple of years later they heard some news through the grapevine: He had married.

They remained out of contact with him until suddenly, with no warning, they received an invitation to come visit and reconnect. Oh … and to meet Adriana.

"I can't do it." She replied. "I can't go in there, not after what I did to him."

"Raven, he explicitly invited you, and each one of us by name."

She shook her head. "I don't want to meet his wife."

"Maybe you need to do this. You haven't gone out on a single date since he left." Nightwing nudged her.

"I know. I hurt him so much, because I was selfish."

"No, you were the honest." Starfire interjected.

"I'm not sure that's true, Starfire. I was afraid."

The house's front door popped open.

"Guys, you're here! Come on in!" He waved at them.

Raven felt her windpipe constrict. His voice cut through her like a sharp knife. It took all of her willpower for her eyes to remain dry. Gar was joined by his wife, a petite and shapely brunette and a young blond boy. Nightwing gently nudged Raven and they walked up to porch, where Gar greeted his long absent friends with a hug, except for Raven who extended her hand, which he reluctantly shook in lieu of a hug,

"You must be Mar'i! You're a cutie, just like your mom! Come on in, Adri is an amazing cook and she made some great food for all of us."

They all went inside, where Adriana had indeed prepared a buffet spread for them to eat. Gar was still a vegetarian, but it was clear that his wife wasn't as she helped herself to some pot roast.

Gar of course introduced his family to his friends. Raven immediately noticed that he seemed so much more mature and his child like goofiness was gone, which she missed. After they ate they went to the living room, where he and Adriana told the others of how they met. She was a zoologist by training and they met at a fundraiser for the Boston zoo. Raven couldn't help but notice how compatible they seemed to be with each other. And Adriana was so kind and friendly with her, there was a gentleness about the woman that really impressed the sorceress.

After telling their courtship story, Gar rose to help his wife clean up. Raven stood up.

"Gar, I'll help clean up. I think you and Cyborg have some catching up to do."

Raven helped Adriana clean up in the kitchen. As they worked, Raven spoke, in a near whisper.

"Has Gar told you about me?"

She nodded. "He told me that you turned down his marriage proposal."

"Yes, I did. Would you mind if I spent a few moments alone with him? We have some unfinished business, namely an overdue apology for breaking his heart."

Adriana smiled. "He forgave you a long time ago. But sure, go ahead. I'm sure he can find a quiet spot to talk."

Adriana turned off the faucet in the sink. "I'll go get him for you."

As she walked away, Raven called out: "Wait."

"Yes?"

"Adriana, I am so relieved that Gar found someone wonderful like you. I can tell you make him very happy."

"I like to think that I do, and he makes me happy too … I never thought that I'd find 'the one' and then I met him."

She left the kitchen and moments later Gar came into the kitchen alone.

"Adri says you want to talk to me?"

 _ **-( - )-**_

Gar and Raven were walking around the block.

"It's good to see you again, Rave. You look good."

"Thank you, so do you."

"So what do you want to talk about?"

She pursed her lips.

"Well, first of all, I owe you an apology. A really big one."

He shook his head. "No. You don't. You were honest. You told me I wasn't the one. I know I was hurt, but ..."

"No, I lied." She interrupted.

"You lied? I don't understand."

"You were the one for me. But I couldn't have been more wrong for you."

"That's not true."

"It is. I see how happy you are with her, so I know I did the right thing. I would have been a horrible wife."

He took her hand and squeezed it. "You're wrong, we would have been very happy together. It would have been different from what I have now, but it would have been really good."

She lunged at him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his shoulder.

"That was the biggest mistake I ever made. Not a day goes by without my regretting it … and when I learned that you were married ..."

She sobbed and he felt her tears soak through his shirt.

"Don't beat yourself up, Rave. You're too good of a person to deserve that."

"So, you do forgive me?"

"Of course, I do. Was I hurt that day? You bet I was, and I won't lie, for while I hated you … but then I learned I couldn't hate you forever."

"Thank you for forgiving me."

He took her hand and they continued walking.

"You have a lovely family. Your son is a nice boy."

He sighed. "He's adopted. Because of my wacky DNA we can't conceive."

"He's a lucky boy to have you in his life."

He squeezed her hand. "Thanks, and by the way, I don't intend to be a stranger anymore. We'll be coming to the Tower to visit soon."

"That would be nice … Gar, I have something for you."

She reached into her cape and pulled out the ring box.

"I believe this is yours."

He smiled. "No, not anymore. You can keep it, I mean, what would I do with it?"

 _ **-(-)-**_

 _Later that night …_

"It's too bad your friends couldn't stay longer. You've told me so much about them, it was nice to finally meet them."

"That's the Superhero life, you don't get a lot of time off. I told Raven that we'd come visit them. I can't wait to show you and Mark the Tower."

They began to shut down the house for the night, after which they headed upstairs to their room.

"Do you ever miss being a superhero?"

"I did at first, but now that seems so long ago, like it was another life."

"Do you miss her?"

"Is there an answer that won't get me into trouble?"

She smiled. "I know that you were very close to her. I could see you being married to her."

"I guess I could too … who knows? Maybe I'm married to her in another universe."

"Good thing that in this universe you're married to me."

"I couldn't agree more, babe. And I hope she finds someone special. She deserves some happiness in her life, after all she's suffered."

"You know why I fell in love with you, Gar? It's because you have a big heart."

"And I fell in love with you because you're not the jealous type. I mean, you met my ex, and you were so nice to her. Most women would have scratched her eyes out."

"Look at this way, Gar. I got to keep you. I won."

They turned off the lights and got into bed. Adriana was soon asleep and Gar stared at the ceiling and wondered how his life would have turned out had Raven said yes. He then remembered a line from the Narnia Chronicles, where Aslan tells Lucy that no one is ever told what would have happened. Suddenly those words made a great deal of sense to him.

He then rolled over, spooned his sleeping wife, and soon joined her in her slumber.

 _ **-(-)-**_

 _Back in Raven's room in the Tower …_

Raven slept peacefully in her bed. On her nightstand was a small portrait of her and Beast Boy on his 20th birthday.

The moon was shining through the window and it reflected on the ring, which Raven wore on her finger, which she had done every night since he left.

THE END


End file.
